Zeb at the Ranch – Cowpies and Coffee Cups
Zeb at the Ranch – Cowpies and Coffee Cups
~ Volume 324 - March 2, ‍2018 ~
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Every Monday thru Thursday from 8 to 11 a.m.
    Do you – the guys reading this – do you have a suit?...I don't and I haven't since I was 12 years old! I remember Mom took me to a Robert Hall Clothing Store and had me "fitted" for my "Confirmation Sunday Suit"...oh boy. Looking back, I'm hard pressed to remember anything that I despised more than that suit. It was a dark charcoal gray and regardless of what the temperature of the day was...it was like putting on a "sauna bath". I'll never forget the "Suger Plum Fairy" that did the "fitting"...he was about one hand movement away from a huge dentist bill. And...all the time I'm standing there, being chalked and pinned by "Frederick", my Mom just kept saying "Oh, my, you look so nice"!...yeah. Ole' Limp Wrist told my Mom that the suit would be ready in 3 days...I could hardly...wait. The phone rang on Thursday and my suit was ready for Confirmation Sunday. Mom picked it up and immediately demanded I try on and "model" it for Dad and Mrs. Kutz who just happened to be visiting. So up the stairs I trudged, like a man walking the last mile to the electric chair. It was mid-June and in Wisconsin that meant humid and...hot. Mom yelled up the stairs to be sure and put on a white shirt and tie so they could get the full effect...Ay Yay Yah...finally I got the suit on and the tie tied and took a deep breath and went downstairs to be "stared" at. Mom said "Oh, you look so grown up dear", Dad said " Get your hands outta your pockets", my sister just giggled and Mrs. Kutz pinched my cheek and said "Oh, don't you look CUTE"...Cute, Cute? That did it right there and then...I started devising a plot to destroy the suit. On Confirmation Sunday, the pastor asked us the confirmands some questions about the Bible and then we took our first communion. He went down the line with the wine cup, giving each a sip, and when he got to me he placed the cup under my lip and poured wine all over my white shirt and my new suit...awww! Too bad! Later that day, at a family gathering, God provided the idea to "kill the suit". My folks had borrowed about 40 folding chairs from the school and some of them were really beat up...I chose one that had a bent frame and when you got up it would start to collapse...aha! Suddenly I realized that if I put a lil' of my pant leg in the chair "fold" if I got up quickly it might rip the pants!! (I was a devious little dude!) It worked!! I stood up quickly, the fabric caught and a good 3 inch tear was created! Mom and Dad were furious, my Grandma chirped "Well, it wasn't his fault – it was the chair" and me, I was feeling a freedom I had not felt for a long time – the "suit" would soon be history. To this day, Dear Reader, I have not and will not buy a suit...God Blessed me once...he may not do it again.

Don't forget Dr-History.com! Exciting episodes of the old West!!
Now in 110 countries...110!! And not one of them
have said they're offended!

Our Pledge of Allegiance:
I pledge Allegiance to the flag
of the United States of America
and to the Republic for which it stands,
one nation under God, indivisible,
with Liberty and Justice for all.

Dear Lord: Please Bless and heal this land with your grace and power.
Help us to realize YOU are in charge as you were, as you are now and like
you'll be in the future. Forgive us for "straying off the trail" of what's right
and what's wrong and help us to appreciate what you've blessed us with,
the greatest Country in the world...America!
In Jesus Name.....Amen

Please Read Proverbs Chapter 20 verse 11.

The way things were - are the way things ought to be!

(Copyright Zeb Bell)

Adios Buckaroos and Buckarettes!

God Bless and Fly the Flag!!

Zeb Bell

P. S. If you enjoy our Newsletter, be sure to forward a copy to your friends and family. Don't forget to tune in to Zeb at the Ranch every Monday thru Thursday from 8 to 11 a.m. on KBAR Radio 1230 AM on the dial, or live on the internet at www.zebbell.com ! Be sure to check out archives of the show on the website or Zeb's YouTube channel at http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCg_Ef72F7DI33Qu9vyfbkpg. Don't forget to leave a comment or a "Like" while you're there.

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