Zeb at the Ranch – Cowpies and Coffee Cups
Zeb at the Ranch – Cowpies and Coffee Cups
~ Volume 342 - July 6, ‍2018 ~
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    She really doesn't look very good...but we tried. Ruby, our beloved canine companion that would swim rivers, jump over tall fences, and take on a pack of killer wolves...just to get some of the ice cream we're eating...needed a haircut. In my latter years, I've developed somewhat of an "Ebeneezer Scrooge" attitude with the needless spending of currency so I declared "No dog groomers for 50 bucks, WE will do it ourselves"................talk about stupid. Well, we got Ole' Ruby up on the picnic table, put a muzzle on her to protect her...(actually she bites!) tied her legs together to avoid a speedy chase, got a 30' extension cord for the 1973 horse clippers and... here we go! Now, the wind was blowin' 25 mph and with every "swoosh" of the clippers, 10,000 hairs took to the breeze and attached themselves to me and my bride of 46 years...we looked like we'd been tarred and feathered. Occasionally I would stop and turn off the red pistol hot clippers and observe my handiwork...didn't take long. After doing the right side of Ruby, I thought in fairness, Deanne should do the left so I could observe her talents...oh boy. She went after that poor dog's hair like she was a crazed tornado looking for a house to hit! WHRRRR, WHRRRR whined the clippers...and suddenly she stopped and said "oops"! Oops is not a good word whether you're getting a shave, a vasectomy or trimming the dog. There were some huge divots that basically had nothing but pink skin to show the fruits of Goober's labor. STOP, we both agreed – this isn't going well. After loosening the binds on Ruby, we had her stand up and "show" us her haircut.....we destroyed our dog. She was a cute dog. Now she resembled a head on crash on I-40! It was at this very moment, Goober and I agreed to tell everyone that our former groomer had a drinking problem and she was at fault! We used to take a lot pictures of Ruby...now we're going to have to wait till August of 2021 for the hair to grow back...She really doesn't look very good....

    Aaah...finally summer...all the great things to cherish during the 90 degree sweltering days. At a rodeo, there is no smell like the smell of the inside of a well used porta potty, there is nothing like your neighbor's small 3 ½ year old giving you a hug after they've covered themselves with 10 pounds of cotton candy and ice cream, there is nothing like sitting behind a young family in church on a "death valley days" hot Sunday morning and their wee one has needed a diaper change since Wednesday! There is nothing like seeing very fat old men wearing khaki shorts with knee high black socks and a too short basketball jersey that salutes the Celtics Bob Cousey 1964! And...all the not so light ladies cramming themselves into yoga pants that were designed for 12 year olds AND...a tank top that proves Moby Dick was captured on dry land!!!.....aaaaahhh.....Summer!

Happy Independence Day this 4th of July!

Don't forget Dr-History.com! Exciting episodes of the old West!!
Now in 110 countries...110!! And not one of them
have said they're offended!

Our Pledge of Allegiance:
I pledge Allegiance to the flag
of the United States of America
and to the Republic for which it stands,
one nation under God, indivisible,
with Liberty and Justice for all.

Dear Lord: Please Bless and heal this land with your grace and power.
Help us to realize YOU are in charge as you were, as you are now and like
you'll be in the future. Forgive us for "straying off the trail" of what's right
and what's wrong and help us to appreciate what you've blessed us with,
the greatest Country in the world...America!
In Jesus Name.....Amen

Please Read Hosea Chapter 3 verse 11-13.

The way things were - are the way things ought to be!

(Copyright Zeb Bell)

Adios Buckaroos and Buckarettes!

God Bless and Fly the Flag!!

Zeb Bell

P. S. If you enjoy our Newsletter, be sure to forward a copy to your friends and family. Don't forget to tune in to Zeb at the Ranch every Monday thru Thursday from 8 to 11 a.m. on KBAR Radio 1230 AM on the dial, or live on the internet at www.zebbell.com ! Be sure to check out archives of the show on the website or Zeb's YouTube channel at http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCg_Ef72F7DI33Qu9vyfbkpg. Don't forget to leave a comment or a "Like" while you're there.

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