I'm on a self imposed diet...I hate ME! How could I treat ME in such a cold, calculating, starving manner? My breakfast consists of one scrambled egg and a protein bar, that's IT! Oh goody!! My mid-morning snack is a rich, creamy, chocolate "shake" that tastes like...(easy Zeb!) tastes like chalk from Mrs. Kiltz's chalkboard in elementary school...lip smackin!...good. Hang on pard, its time for lunch, whoa Nellie, I've got my bib around my neck! Here it is, an apple, a cheese stick and some kind of heated up, rubbery, gag ya...burrito?? I guess. At about 2:30 PM I'm ready for my "snack" which consists of a protein bar that is so darn hard I had to soften it for 10 minutes with a ball peen hammer! Okay, I can make it to supper...my "big" meal. Deanne fills my plate with a mountainous heaping of carrots, zucchini, cauliflower and yellow squash...dear reader I can't begin to tell you how much I...look forward to...this. I also get a slice of wheat bread, an orange AND the entree of the evening probably consisting of a paltry miniscule piece of broiled chicken...Hold me down there Mervin, I'm doing cartwheels!! I'm only supposed to weigh myself once a week and then bounce around the house in joy for my achievements...wait a second...I've been on this goofy plan for 3 weeks and I've lost a grand total of 6 lbs...!! The pain, the suffering, the cold shakes when a cheeseburger commercial is on TV, the trying to walk past the refrigerator...all for 6 pounds?? I'm grouchier, my new pickup has teeth bites on the steering wheel, I saw a kid eating a Snickers bar and thought about mugging him, I've even thought about walking through a McDonald's parking lot late at night to find dropped french fries! I'M HUNGRY, say it again class...I'M STARVING! My diet coach called to give me words of encouragement and...I gave her some advice right back!! Why God, why did you give me fat cells that enjoy turning themselves into the "Life of the Party"? I'm trying...I'm really trying. But the first person that offers to take me through a buffet...step aside!
...or you'll have crutch tip marks all over your body!....I'm on a self imposed diet!
Don't forget Dr-History.com! Exciting episodes of the old West!!
Now in 110 countries...110!! And not one of them
have said they're offended!
Our Pledge
of Allegiance:
I pledge Allegiance to the flag
of the United States of America
and to the Republic for which it stands,
one nation under God, indivisible,
with Liberty and Justice for all.
Dear Lord: Please Bless and heal this land with your grace and power.
Help us to realize YOU are in charge as you were, as you are
now and like
you'll be in the future. Forgive us for "straying off the trail" of what's
right
and what's wrong and help us to appreciate what you've blessed us with,
the greatest Country in the world...America!
In Jesus Name.....Amen
Please Read Proverbs Chapter 17 vs 1.
The way things were - are the way things ought to be!
(Copyright Zeb Bell)
Adios Buckaroos and Buckarettes!
God Bless and Fly the Flag!!
Zeb Bell
P. S. If you enjoy our Newsletter, be sure to forward a copy to your friends and
family. Don't forget to tune in to Zeb at the Ranch every Monday thru Thursday from
8 to 11 a.m. on KBAR Radio 1230 AM on the dial, or live on the internet at
www.zebbell.com
! Be sure to check out archives of the show on the website
or Zeb's
YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCg_Ef72F7DI33Qu9vyfbkpg.
Don't forget to leave a comment or a "Like" while you're there.
The
Best in Tires and Service
Randy at Tires West • 678-4400
2555 Overland Ave in Burley
Max at Magic Valley Tire, Inc. • 438-8444
25 W. Ellis in Paul
Layne at Magic Valley Tire, Inc. • 436-5600
109 S 100 W. (Hwy 24) in Rupert
"If we can't guarantee it, we won't sell it!"
Tires • Brake Service • Front End Alignment • Shocks & Struts • Custom Wheels
• Batteries
Major Sponsor of Zeb at the Ranch every Monday thru Thursday from
8 to 11 a.m. on KBAR Radio 1230 AM on the dial, or live on the internet at
www.zebbell.com
!
|